Waiting on God
Waiting… and waiting…and waiting. Hurry up and wait. Most of the time, I’m sure that God is the One who waits on me; to get up, to slow down, to start or stop, to obey, to love, to serve, to seek, to fast, to find, to worship, to pray, to empty, to adore, to hunger for, or to go. But occasionally, I feel like I’m the one who is waiting…on Him.
What do I do when I feel ready to go but He hasn’t said where yet? What do I do when my answer is a resounding “Yes” but He has not asked the question of me yet? What do I do when my desire is strong, but He hasn’t shown me which way to point it yet? What do I do when my motives are pure, but He hasn’t revealed the direction for my next step…yet?
In my waiting, I can’t help but wonder. I may even wander, but that’s another story. I wonder…“IF”. I wonder if He still has a plan. You know; a plan for me, what I am supposed to do. He seems to have plans for everyone, but here I am waiting… wondering… if…
And in my wondering, another question comes to my mind; “WHY?” Why does God’s plan seem so hard to find? Why does it seem to take so long? Why does it seem to come easy for others? Why must it be so difficult? Why do others seem to get all the good plans? Why do I have to learn patience in the process? Why can’t we just settle this now? Why doesn’t God listen to my advice? Why do God’s plans not always work out like I think they should? Why did my plan turn out like this? Why didn’t my plan turn out like that? Why do I have to be faithful to THIS plan? Why doesn’t God anoint my plans? Why can’t I have the easy road? Why don’t I hear directly from God? Why does He let me go through my own little personal wilderness experience? Why do I wonder? Why do I wander? Why do I ask “Why?” so much? But then again, why don’t I ask it more?
So in the deafening silence of my still questionable unanswered questions, I decide to wait…more. But not to wait passively this time; this time I wait actively. There is a world of difference between passive and active waiting. One waits in defeat, while the other waits in victory! One waits in sadness, while the other waits in hope. One waits expecting nothing, while the other waits expecting everything! One waits in a pity party thrown out of selfishness, while the other waits in a passion party thrown out of eagerness! One looks backward, while the other one looks forward! One turns inward, while the other turns outward. One cries, while the other rejoices!
In Psalm 46:10, God says, “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s active waiting. We learn better when we are still… and quiet. Sure, God can speak in the thunder, or the fire, or the earthquake. But He still prefers the quietness, because it’s in the quietness that we hear the roar of His gently whisper the loudest. That’s why He tells us to “Be still,” or in other words, wait.
Sometimes I think that God actually invented waiting in my life. But then I realized that waiting is nothing new. Adam had to wait on Eve. Noah had to wait to float, then he waited on the boat. Joseph waited in a hole. Abraham had to wait on the promise. The Israelites had to wait for 40 years. Joshua waited on Moses to die, while Elisha waited to see Elijah fly. David waited to become king. Queen Esther waited for such a time as this. Job waited to get some answers. Jonah waited inside a fish. Daniel waited all night with some friendly lions. Zechariah waited to speak. Simeon waited to see a baby. John the Baptist waited in prison to hear from Jesus. Lazarus waited to live again. A woman waited 18 years to stop bleeding. Peter waited for a fresh encounter along the shoreline. The Disciples waited for the wind. Paul waited for Ananias. John waited on an island. And even Jesus waited 30 years for His assignment to begin. Maybe I’m not the first one to wait. Definitely, I’m not.
Waiting is a part of God’s plan. God uses our time spent waiting to bring us to the place where, when He finally speaks, we are able to hear Him clearly. He uses this waiting time to soften our hearts, to tenderize our spirits, to increase our willingness, to build our courage, to expand our dreams, to deepen our roots, to narrow our focus, and to boil our passion. Yes, waiting is as much a part of God’s plan as is the going. He uses it to help us become the us that we were meant to be.
So as I think that I am waiting upon God, that terrifying thought occurs to me again. What if He is actually waiting upon me?
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11-17-09